I will pull through

When i tried to ring at least 6 friends and could not get any of them....
I would feel lonely, miserable and depressed..

I don't always tried to contact every friend..of cos i had more than 6 friends..
Sometimes when I selectively choose to call any of them and just could not get any..
I feel lonely..

Perhaps..it would be different if I am back home..
It's too tough being alone here...
I did ask my colleague.. how did she manage? She was here when she was in High Sch all by herself.. She told me ..she had been through what I am experiencing now.. And one day I will reach to a point where i will tell myself..its good to be alone too...

Today...the feeling is shit.. I know that my heart had shifted..and heading to a wrong direction..
I am digging my own grave.. but I know it and still doing it...

My Cousin told me... "some people don't like to get hurt, when they get a little hurt they will say NO MORE. Some people like her don't want to regret and keep trying till she had enough even if it takes her to get hurt over and over again.." Well, I guess I am type II.. would try over and over again... I know I had not reach the point when "ENOUGH is ENOUGH"...

I know deep inside I want to go back...but..i am holding myself and trying to move on...
I will pull through, just don't make any silly move...
I will be alright.